What if... Three things I learnt at my first ever trans East and Southeast Asian writing event

Green, summer oak leave at The Bethnal Green Nature Reserve

A few days ago, I attended my first trans ESEA (East and Southeast Asian) writing workshop - a free event run by On Your Side UK and EVR ESEA (End Violence and Racism ESEA) at the wonderful space, Pelican House (Instagram / Facebook). I’ve been to a few QTIBIPOC events & writing events, and queer events & writer events (mostly white). So it was a new experience for me to be in a trans ESEA only space!

Led by Ogie (Rogelio Braga, founder of theatre company, Atisa) whose energy reminds me of a friendly, colourful cloud, we sat beside the cool summer rain, exploring writing exercises and going on many emotional journeys. The session was facilitated by Nina who talked affectingly about her experience of transphobic discrimination in the EVR ESEA video we watched as part of their opening presentation.

Initially I was unsure what I had to bring was relevant but my friend LiLi K Bright reminded me the main point of creative workshops is to generate something, anything. Also they like it when people don’t follow the prompts. As it happened I made many discoveries about creative writing over the three hour period, including three particularly memorable concepts.

The rain shelter at Bethnal Green Nature Reserve

During the workshop, I accessed some joyful and painful memories and learnt/refreshed my memory about concepts such as structure and other intriguing aspects.

The first of the memorable concepts for me was:

“Writing is 5%. Revision is 95% of the work”.

As I’m nearing the printing of my autobiographical comic book, the result of hundreds if not thousands (?!) of edit hours, I can absolutely relate to this. As I have ADHD and lack confidence, revising work can be fraught with issues such as “is it worth it” or “how best to develop this?” but I have been lucky to have support for this project (which I’m looking forward to sharing more about).

The second of the memorable concepts was from one of Ogie’s writing tasks.

Use the prompt: “What if…”
Ogie said you could write a series of sentences and create a story using “What if…”

I found my answers quite bitter. However I found myself reflecting immediately after the exercise that I had written “what if” more positive things had happened. It might also be interesting to consider what if negative things had happened (and therefore be more grateful for aspects of my situation. Another idea could be to steer myself to fanciful what ifs - and enjoy being curious/silly/fantastical.

As older (relatively!) trans ESEA who struggles with mental health, later on in the evening, I wondered if maybe I ask “what if…” once a day or even when I’m struggling, if it would help me to shift my thinking.

The third memorable idea that Ogie gave us was (paraphrased):

Writing is a skill/craft. Therefore you can learn how to structure and improve.

So often as a creative, I meet people who say “Oh I can’t draw,” “I can’t write poetry,” “I don’t have a musical bone in my body.” I try to explain that despite the unfortunate lack of access to creativity, I personally believe that everybody is able to create something - if they wish to. In terms of developing the work, it’s also a matter of putting time/effort into improving the piece or one’s skills in general. That’s not to say that it’s easy. Receiving encouragement from people, energy, accessible training resources, community, money for courses, travel, materials - I think these are factors that help “grow an artist”. Like a plant needing certain conditions to grow. Little successes have helped me grow resilience.and patience… even though I do feel deflated quite easily as well…

I get irritated by the media highlighting how certain artists are people are “naturally” creative. I think everyone is naturally creative and it gets conformed out of us by the system. I think it would be more productive for stories about artists to remind people about the amount of work and resources and sometimes, privilege that has enable artists to reach the media spotlight.

I wrote 19 pages of words, ideas, passages, stories using Ogie’s prompts - and was surprised that some of the stories were ones I’ve played in my head for decades but not shared before.

At the start of the session, I shared that I really hope to write short stories one day but I’ve struggled due to lack of representation. I have been inspired by non binary (e.g. Ivan Coyote’s stories are about ordinary cishet white people but from a white trans person’s perspective) and ESEA queer writers (e.g. Kitty Tsui - a lesbian bodybuilder leatherwoman - who most queer people have never heard of!)

I might share some of the writing I did at the workshop here / online or I might develop it or keep it for myself.

an unfamiliar but striking plant at the Bethnal Green Nature Reserve

Of course, I learnt more than three things. Here are some notes about a few more of my discoveries.

ATISA is run by refugees, migrants, community organisers, activists, and professional theatre-makers and writers with heritage from South and Southeast Asian regions.

As well as learning/reconnecting with these three ideas, I considered my privilege as a British passport holder and as a native speaker of English. Even with my intersectional struggles, I don’t often remember to appreciate these privileges.

Aside from absorbing ideas, writing, sharing and listening, I also absorbed a few of the snacks that were provided for us - bananas, biscuits, crisps and even tea. We joked about how ESEA and QT/BIPOC spaces tend to welcome/involve/normalise people eating - including on video calls - whereas in whiter spaces, it seems that eating can seem a bit anti-social/frowned upon. I think this also applies to lying down (important for disabled people) and other access points. Someone in the group said that eating is a cultural thing - and I agree. (When I got home told my mum about the snacks, she said her Hong Kong, choir meetings always included a free meal!) It would be great to explore this further sometime.

As a neurodivergent person, I find that food helps keep up my energy levels to pay attention, socialise, listen, learn and participate (especially after travelling to an event but also trying to organise to attend an online event also takes energy as a disabled person).

At the beginning of the workshop, I decided to share that I don’t usually go to in-person events as I’m trying to continue covid safety. I limit the number I go to, and choose to go to specific ones - generally sober ones with smaller numbers of people, and where I feel a sense of trust about people being aware of being ill and not going (also arguably a cultural thing?!) I was glad that Ogie mentioned that a future workshop could potentially be online. Being able to voice this made me feel safer in the space. I spoke about how in ESEA spaces, I’m usually the loudest person and in non-ESEA spaces, I’m either really quiet or sometimes don’t speak at all.

I felt it was significant that EVR had 2 cis team members (Eden and Jason ?) at the street door to welcome us but they were not present at the workshop. A trans ESEA friend had voiced that ESEA cis/het men could be afraid of association with queer/trans events. I have also experienced ableism with ESEA, so I was touched by the solidarity and honestly a warm welcome is something I remember for decades!

This trans ESEA writing workshop was a thrilling and nourishing experience. I’m grateful to Ogie, my fellow workshop participants, Nina, Eden and Jason, On Your Side and EVR ESEA for the space, guidance, sharings, company and snacks!

Afterwards, I was lucky to get to the Bethnal Green Nature Reserve where I enjoyed the plants, creatures, drizzle and shadows. (It’s usually closed that that time, but a friend who attended the workshop volunteers there and is a key-holder). Being in nature after writing and thinking in the afternoon was a beautiful balancing contrast.

As I’d joked earlier at the workshop, British weather is actually GENDER FLUID.

Some links:

Atisa
EVR ESEA
On Your Side
Bethnal Green Nature Reserve

Photos by The Mollusc Dimension

The Weird & Wonderful Surviveries of Squid Horse - available now from Juniper by the Sea - the UK's 1st ESEA bookshop.

culture, storytelling, asian, writing, trans, queerculture, neurodivergent artist, LGBTIQ, ESEA, trauma, mental health, learning, creativityThe Mollusc Dimension