Lost in Trans Asian - Why performing with Bitten Peach UK was so significant for me
Cabaret is a fast-paced world but here are some reflections on my part! Dance & band stuff has been a journey & this is a long thing about my process and healing!
I’ve performed with Bitten Peach one time before but there were a few notable highs for me this time around dancing on stage and pretending to be in a band again!
When I was a teenage femme, I watched MTV, but there were no East Asian femmes dancing or being in bands. Added to this, I needed someone to help me break down the moves. Oh it’s probably hard to imagine but Google & YouTube didn’t exist!
Over the years I attended dance classes but for Asians Have Feelings Too I wanted to parody k-pop so thrillingly, Shay Shay was the dance consultant! Recently I advertised for a dancer. Stella Adore messaged me & we had some online chats & they prepared but were ill before the show! Perhaps inspired by all this, i started watching dance tutorials and decide to do a few steps.
There was also a painful memory of being a Chinese femme on a carnival float and being laughed at by some ESEA men who either thought I was hilarious or were stunned by my beauty LOL.
It probably didn’t help that as a teen, I revered US alternative rock and metal dominated by white cishet men (who on the whole, unfortunately turned out to be d££ks and music media his this bc patriarchy & capitalism).
Anyway….!
As for the band…
From 2013-2016, I finally had my own band !!! but when it kinda broke up, I was so devastated by the experience I didn’t even tell anyone. I still never officially announced it, except in a kind of embarrassed footnote.
In recent years, I found an amazing music collaborator & we played gigs. Due to health stuff, we haven’t jammed or gigged since the first lockdown and I’ve only seen them once. (Recently i found a way to communicate which has been heartening!)
Making paper props and audience participation has been part of my performance practice since my first gig as Squid thanks to Stephanie Dogfoot at SOAS in Feb 2013! After the paper hearts, I made a coffee mug lover, signs and once even created a squid costume which I took to Brighton to perform at Traumfrau.
So I thought it’d be fun to make paper instruments and ask people to join me on stage.
The thrill of being in a band and the joy of being on stage with other people - even if they were only pretending to be in my band has given me an important taster of how beautiful it is to share energies for performance. It’s also silly and playful and I look forward to more.
Photos by Captured by Corinne
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